We all know that friends are very important. We have friends that we meet for coffee, friends that we go shopping with, and friends with whom we go to the gym. But even if you have a friend for every situation, it’s great to have a best friend. A registered family and marriage therapist, Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem, discusses what makes the connection between best friends so special and important.
A best friend doesn’t leave any blanks for you to fill in. They already know everything there is to understand about you. It’s like picking up a book and knowing where you left off. All the background info has already been stored so that you can get to the point of any conversation.
Belleghem says that being alone is one of the things we fear the most. Whether your best friend is next door or in a different time zone, just knowing she is there makes you feel better. It creates you feel like you’re part of something and not just floating in space. So, call your best friend if you feel alone, either physically or emotionally. You’ll both feel better afterward.
Your best friend calls you before you shower or brush your hair. She’s upset and needs you to arrive over as soon as possible. What do you do? Because you don’t have to, you get into the car without changing. Best friends know us at our best and worst, and they still love us. Belleghem says it’s crucial to have a person with whom we feel completely at ease. Someone who is just like us, sweats and all.
Belleghem says that having good friends helps us feel better about ourselves. Having someone in our lives who thinks we are important, wants to hear our thoughts, and enjoys spending time with us makes us feel wanted and boosts our self-esteem.
Belleghem says that our best friends will also tell us the truth. So thank your closest friend the next time she meets you in the eye, shakes her head, and tells you to think again about something that might be a bad idea.
A Fresh Perspective
We all have different experiences and ideas, but sharing things with a best friend can help us learn more about ourselves. Belleghem says that what they tell us can give us new perspectives and ways to consider the world around us. Things are more likely to change if you look at a problem differently.
When a close family friend does something you don’t like, you’re more likely to talk to them about it than when it’s someone you don’t know as well. Belleghem says that going through this with a good friend helps you prepare for other times when you will have to deal with something hard. Now you can add this to your bag of life skills.
When someone is loyal, you never have to worry that they will tell your secrets or talk about you behind your back. Belleghem says that having best friends means you already trust them. Most likely, you’ve been together for years, and your relationship keeps getting stronger.
Belleghem says that having a best friend means going through things together. When we become locked in our habits, learning about what others are doing might be refreshing. My close friend who didn’t have kids helped me see things differently. We often discover things we might not have thought of doing by watching our close friends do them.
The Best Sounding Board
Sharing everything is one of the best advantages of having a best friend. They know things about us that we would never tell anyone else, like our biggest fears and mistakes. Belleghem says that talking about these private parts of our lives helps make sense of what has happened. When you talk about your fear or discomfort with a friend, it makes you feel better.
Do’s And Don’ts Of Becoming A Good Friend
Women are hardwired to make friends, keep them close, and take care of their friendships for the rest of their lives. But all relationships take work, and no woman alive hasn’t lost a trustworthy friend over something, usually after months or years of discontent that could have been avoided.
- Pay attention to how your friend feels and ask if you think something is wrong.
- Do keep an eye on us when you are both out on the town.
- Do respect and help her with her latest health and fitness craze.
- Do whatever she asks you to assist with her marriage day.
- Do listen to her whine about her boyfriend or husband.
- Don’t bother her too much or demand to know what’s wrong. Everyone needs some space.
- Don’t feel you must stick together the whole night – you’re not her guardian angel.
- Don’t start exercising with her at 4 a.m. if you don’t like it; she can keep going even if you don’t.
- Don’t do all the dirty work while she goes to the spa.
- Don’t add to the bad things she’s already said about him. She might hold this against you.